Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Help “Medicare-for-All-4-One

WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking show of bipartisanship that’s all too uncommon in Washington today, Congress unanimously handed a brand new medical health insurance plan right this moment. This historic invoice, entitled “Medicare-for-All-4-One,” ensures free lifetime medical look after the 1990s super-boy-band that launched the world to such powerhouse hits as “I Swear” and “I Can Love You Like That.”

“The pundits all stated we’d by no means discover a resolution to the well being care disaster that we might all get behind,” stated the beaming Speaker of the Home and Senate Majority Chief in a joint press convention saying the deal. “Boy, does it really feel good to show all of them fallacious.

“As soon as once more,” they continued, “All-4-One has introduced the nation collectively, simply as they did so a few years in the past. Earlier than there have been the Backstreet Boys, N SYNC, One Path, and regardless of the hell BTS is, this quartet of Boyz II Males wannabes was delivering everybody fortunate sufficient to be alive within the mid-1990s such unbridled pleasure with its magical rhythm-and-blues rendition of ‘I Swear.’ These boys lifted the spirits in all of us, and now it’s time to carry theirs.”

These Four mega-talented males could have accomplished extra than simply carry everybody’s spirits; many consider that their majestic voices had precise therapeutic powers. Some insist that their heavenly tones and ideal harmonies might treatment most cancers. Others, just like the Speaker, level to the band’s means to heal a sure embarrassing situation. “Every time we performed their music,” she stated, “my husband’s erectile dysfunction merely disappeared. And on these nights…boy, did he ever love me like that!

“The least we will do for these blessed healers,” she continued, “is to ensure they by no means must pay one other cent for their very own well being care.”

The brand new invoice apparently got here collectively in a short time, based on one Congressman. “When the Speaker knowledgeable us that the bandmates are all of their mid-to-late forties—that means they’re 20 years faraway from their final money-making tune and nonetheless almost 20 years away from being eligible for the present Medicare—all of us instantly assumed they have been now broke and ailing from a litany of well being issues. We knew we needed to act quick to get these fallen heroes the care they deserve.”

Amazingly, the Speaker and Majority Chief ended the press convention by embracing and, in a capella type, belting out: “We swear by the moon and the celebs within the sky, we’ll be there…for you, A-4-O.”

The response from the general public has been overwhelmingly constructive, even contemplating taxes will undoubtedly be raised to pay for this plan.

Reached for remark, the band members replied, “Um, thanks, however we’re doing simply high-quality.” In addition they famous that they’re nonetheless collectively and, in actual fact, they’ve by no means stopped making new music.

No, actually, I swear.

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